As you all know my daughter is an only child. As she was growing up my parents and some of our friends would always say that I needed to have another child for her sake. And that everybody think that she's alone and that she needs someone to play with. And I will always tell them, what's the difference? She a happy child. In fact being an only child makes her more sociable and she can easily adjust to her environment or to other people including children. She's not selfish as oppossed to the saying that "an only child is a selfish child." And she's not different from other kids who have brothers or sisters. But of course again, I will tell them that "we're trying to have another but just simply can't," just to end the conversation. But it is actually true that we are really trying and hoping for about 3 years now.
Last week, before the end of our vacation, my daughter was playing with two brothers. One is younger than her by 4 months and the other was by 1 year. Well, they were doing well when the youngest kid, wanted to be the shop lady. And my daughter tried to explain that she's a girl so she'll be the shop lady. But the younger one insisted on himself being the shop lady. And so it broke down into a little quarrel, with little screaming, with lot of tears and being upset.
So as she was crying, I told her that I can play with her if she wants to. And she'll be the shop lady and I will be the shopper. But what I heard from her froze my heart. She was sobbing at this time. But it was clear to me what she said. She said, "Mama, no it's not like that! I want someone to play with. I am all alone in our house. I don't have a brother or a sister. I don't have anyone to play with. You're different you're the mama!"
As she was calming herself up. I was tongue-tied. I know that I can't tell her anything that will assure her that she's not alone. Tears just fall from my eyes and I can't prevent them from falling. They just kept on going. And I did it in front of the two other kids and in front of my daughter.
I didn't realize that my daughter though she's protected and loved by all of us still feels alone. That although I am always there for her she still needs someone else to share her world with. And it stab me really hard. And if I could turn back the three years wherein I can give her a brother or a sister, I would do so with much eagerness. If only I realize all of these that early.
