Yesterday morning before going to school and while waiting for his sister to finish brushing her teeth, my 3 years old son decided to play superhero.
He found a checkered red and white table clothe and asked me to place it behind his back so as to serve as his cape. He thinks that all superhero will not be a superhero without one. As soon as we're about to leave my son sensed that I will have to take his "cape" off, he begged if he could just wear it until we reach school and then he'll give back to me. I agreed.
As I've said and written many times before, my son at his age is very independent and very organized. He eats by himself, brushes his teeth, keep his own room, arranged his jacket and shoes and dress up by himself. And that makes my life as a mom a little bit easier. (Although sometimes, I want to be of help to him just to assure myself that I am still his mother.) But he just loves doing things by "himself." And in this case, since we live on the second floor and our building is only four story building with no-need-of-an-elevator, he wants to go down the stairs by himself of course. For the nth time, I took time to tell him to hold on to the side rails while going down for I am holding my 4 moths old daughter.
Unluckily, he tripped and fell. Good thing nothing serious happened to him. I took him, checked him out and asked if he is O.K. As usual, my independent son said he's fine.
I asked him what happened and he just replied, "J'ai descendu un petit peu vite." (I walked or went down a little bit fast." And that he forgot to hold on to the side rails.
I know my son just like any mom knew their own. I know that more than the physical pain, the emotional pain are there but he wouldn't admit it just like any little accidents that he had. Maybe because he's a boy, maybe because he don't want to worry me too much or maybe because he's just that way. But I am also this way; I worry too much for all of my kids.
I hugged and kissed him as what I usually do to make the pain go away. Good thing all kids know that mother's kisses have something magical in them. And one mommy's kiss will make it all better. But what pained me in this situation is after I kissed and hugged him and asked him for the last time if he feels any pain, is that he took of his "checkered red and white cape" and told me, "Mom, I'm not a superhero anymore."
My heart begins to tear apart. How can you explain to a 3 year old boy that even superheroes fall sometimes? Even mightiest of all men experienced defeat. Even angels break their wings and fall. But what made them different is how they stood up after their fall, mend themselves and continue their journey.
How can you explain to him that falling is not a sign of weakness? And that falling is not shameful. And that even with these painful experiences we can gain much. For these things happen for a reason. And that reason is to help us be stronger to face what lies ahead of us. And allowing ourselves to be defeated means only one thing, we allow ourselves to be empowered by the learning we obtain from our fall or defeat or mistakes or whatever you call them.
But how can I explain all these to my son? I can't. Not yet. I hope when he grows up, he'll read this. I hope that he'll learn one or two from this article. For I know one day he'll be a great man and I know one day he'll experience fall and defeat. But I know one day he'll also learn "to cry a little bit, stop, stand up, brush himself off and continue." But for now, all I can do is assure him, hug and kiss him again and say, " You'll always be a superhero to me even how many times you fall."
http://www.yuoutube.com/watch?v=9u4IGVmc3og
He found a checkered red and white table clothe and asked me to place it behind his back so as to serve as his cape. He thinks that all superhero will not be a superhero without one. As soon as we're about to leave my son sensed that I will have to take his "cape" off, he begged if he could just wear it until we reach school and then he'll give back to me. I agreed.
As I've said and written many times before, my son at his age is very independent and very organized. He eats by himself, brushes his teeth, keep his own room, arranged his jacket and shoes and dress up by himself. And that makes my life as a mom a little bit easier. (Although sometimes, I want to be of help to him just to assure myself that I am still his mother.) But he just loves doing things by "himself." And in this case, since we live on the second floor and our building is only four story building with no-need-of-an-elevator, he wants to go down the stairs by himself of course. For the nth time, I took time to tell him to hold on to the side rails while going down for I am holding my 4 moths old daughter.
Unluckily, he tripped and fell. Good thing nothing serious happened to him. I took him, checked him out and asked if he is O.K. As usual, my independent son said he's fine.
I asked him what happened and he just replied, "J'ai descendu un petit peu vite." (I walked or went down a little bit fast." And that he forgot to hold on to the side rails.
I know my son just like any mom knew their own. I know that more than the physical pain, the emotional pain are there but he wouldn't admit it just like any little accidents that he had. Maybe because he's a boy, maybe because he don't want to worry me too much or maybe because he's just that way. But I am also this way; I worry too much for all of my kids.
I hugged and kissed him as what I usually do to make the pain go away. Good thing all kids know that mother's kisses have something magical in them. And one mommy's kiss will make it all better. But what pained me in this situation is after I kissed and hugged him and asked him for the last time if he feels any pain, is that he took of his "checkered red and white cape" and told me, "Mom, I'm not a superhero anymore."
My heart begins to tear apart. How can you explain to a 3 year old boy that even superheroes fall sometimes? Even mightiest of all men experienced defeat. Even angels break their wings and fall. But what made them different is how they stood up after their fall, mend themselves and continue their journey.
How can you explain to him that falling is not a sign of weakness? And that falling is not shameful. And that even with these painful experiences we can gain much. For these things happen for a reason. And that reason is to help us be stronger to face what lies ahead of us. And allowing ourselves to be defeated means only one thing, we allow ourselves to be empowered by the learning we obtain from our fall or defeat or mistakes or whatever you call them.
But how can I explain all these to my son? I can't. Not yet. I hope when he grows up, he'll read this. I hope that he'll learn one or two from this article. For I know one day he'll be a great man and I know one day he'll experience fall and defeat. But I know one day he'll also learn "to cry a little bit, stop, stand up, brush himself off and continue." But for now, all I can do is assure him, hug and kiss him again and say, " You'll always be a superhero to me even how many times you fall."
http://www.yuoutube.com/watch?v=9u4IGVmc3og
