Praying for miracles

On the 23rd of March 2013, my daughter had a series of convulsions. Doctors says that it is due to fever. But the problem is that when she had her convulsions, she didn't have fever. Until now, I'm still trying to understand what happened to her. And wanted to look for answers, for reassurance that she'll be ok until she grows up. Right now, she's well. She's playing and doing things that she's been doing. But at the back of my head the question still remains, "Will it happen again?"

During those moments, I wrote things in my journal to ease all my emotions. Just to burst out what I was feeling inside on that particular moment when I thought that I was going to lose my daughter.
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MARCH 24, 2013 at  00h38. For my daughter Vanille

Normally, I can take anything without complaining. All the pain, I can deal with that. All problems, I can find solutions for those. All my anger, I can repress that. All my pride, I can swallow that. All of these I can take without saying a word nor tears in my eyes. 

The heart problems I had while you were growing in my womb. The labor pains that I had while having you. Even giving birth without any help from anesthesia nor any form of pain killers. I handled them with flying colors. I did all that.

BUT NOT THIS!

Not seeing you sick and lying in a hospital bed. Not while holding you while you're having a seizure. Not seeing you unconscious after each seizures. Not seeing you doing all those medical procedures with your frail body. Not all of these.

I CANNOT TAKE THIS!

My heart is breaking into shreds every time I see you go through all of these. I cannot take this!

You might see me as a hard shell, but with you suffering and sick, I crumble to pieces. Please, Vanille, not this.
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I prayed. We prayed as a family. I asked my friends and your papa's friends to pray for you. And through this I wanted to remember what I asked God for you.
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Lord, help me. Extend thy loving and healing hands to my daughter. Take any pains that she's feeling, any infections or any cause of her sickness. Lord, once, you've said, "Knock and the door will open unto you. Ask and you shall receive." Kneeling in front of you, Lord, I am knocking and I am asking take the sickness of my child. Heal her. Send thy angels to keep her safe and keep her from harm. For I know that You are not yet finish with her. She has yet to serve her purpose here on earth. Her mission, one day, is to serve you my Lord for your greater glory. I asked this in Jesus name. Amen